The Nowhere Girl by Nicole Trope
Genre: Domestic drama, Mystery
Read: 12th April 2020
Purchase: Amazon
(publication date: 28th January 2020)
★★★★★ 5 stars
WOW! I don't know where to begin with this book. Nicole Trope always manages to draw her readers in and deliver a powerful story with elements of mystery woven throughout but upon finishing it, THE NOWHERE GIRL rendered me speechless. I literally bawled for the last few chapters. It was heartbreaking, it was heartwarming, it was powerful. And I loved it!!
Trigger warning: confronting issues and scenes of child sexual abuse depicted. Also featured is domestic violence, alcoholism, miscarriage and Alzhiemer's.
Alice Stetson has a happy life. Her husband Jack is a doctor, she has three beautiful boys - 14 year old Isaac and twin 9 year olds Gus and Gabe - and lives in the affluent suburb of Greenwich on Sydney's lower north shore. But Alice's life was not always like that. Her mother was an alcoholic, her stepfather abusive and her baby sister Lilly was tragically killed whilst Alice tried saving her. In trying to protect Lilly she had inadvertently caused her death and she has lived with the guilt ever since.
No one knows this secret she carries...not even her husband. But now it seems somebody does, as Alice has been receiving emails claiming "I know what you did." And the horrors of her past come crashing back engulfing her in memories she has spent a lifetime trying to escape. And now Alice would do anything to protect her family and keep them safe.
Molly Khan is a writer researching childhood abuse for her next story. She discovers a website where survivors can share their own experiences and in doing so comes across the story of a woman who calls herself Meredith. Whilst reading the story, Molly feels a shocking sense of recognition - she remembers the cupboard, the mouldy smell, the pink blanket and "Foggy". Molly reaches for her own green stuffed toy frog she's had ever since she could remember that she called "Foggy".
Why is she remembering things referenced in someone else's story of abuse? Molly has had a happy childhood. She has two loving parents and a younger sister Lexie. She knows no one called Meredith...if that is even her real name. But she remembers these things. She can remember looking through the crack in the cupboard door and seeing "the big man" who frightened her. And the whisper of her big sister's voice saying "Go to sleep, little one" as she snuggles into her pink blanket cuddling "Foggy". Molly is also plagued by dreams of being on a long and lonely dark road with stones in her little feet. What does all this mean?
Margaret Henkel is a woman who has given up on herself. She got pregnant at 16, married the love of her life and had a baby daughter Alice whom they both doted on. But when Alice was 6, Margaret's life ended with the death of her husband Adam. And that's when the nightmare began. She started to drink to forget her pain. The vodka gave her back her Adam but took away her dignity. Soon she couldn't even get herself out of bed. Then Vernon moved in. At first he was nice and looked after them. He made sure the fridge was stocked, the bills were paid and that she had plenty of vodka. She didn't even have to do anything, Vernon took care of it all. All she had to do was lose herself to oblivion and stay in bed. But then things changed. She became Vernon's punching bag and Alice asked when was he going to leave? But Margaret was scared of him leaving them - what would she do? How would she cope? She was nothing. She was stupid. She was useless. So Margaret decided they should have a baby together and then there was Lilly.
Alice adored Lilly from the first moment she set eyes on her. She became her parent as she took care of Lilly's daily needs such as feeding, changing and protected her from Vernon's wrath. Lilly didn't even recognise Margaret as her mother but rather an occasional visitor who slept most of the time. Alice despised the mother she had once adored. She couldn't even get up and look after her children properly. At 10 years old, Alice was Lilly's parent.
And then one day...Lilly was gone. When Margaret and Vernon asked where she was, Alice just shrugged and said she was gone. Dead.
Now Margaret is in a care home in the late stages of early onset Alzheimer's and lives in a bubble. She constantly tells the staff and Alice that Adam and Vernon have visited but Alice knows that is not possible. Adam, her father, is dead and Vernon is in prison. Alice doesn't know why she visits her mother or cares for her as she clearly didn't care for her when she was a child and needed her. Half the time she doesn't even know who she is. And yet, Alice just wants her mother to apologise...for not loving her enough, for not protecting her.
Told from three perspectives throughout - Alice, Molly and Margaret - THE NOWHERE GIRL features the past and the present that is both captivating and compelling. It is clear from early on the direction this story is going but it's the journey getting there that is the most intriguing. How the ties that bind are woven together to create the tapestry that is the bigger picture is somewhat poignant.
THE NOWHERE GIRL is a complex and very disturbing tale that your heart just aches for those involved. I found myself incredibly sad for Margaret as a young girl who really had no life experience and was left without a life jacket to drown in a sea of grief after the death of her husband who had been her anchor. To be rescued by the likes of Vernon, a predator who seeks out the vulnerable and preys on their weaknesses only to find herself caught within a cycle from which she cannot escape...was just heartbreaking.
I cannot find the words to describe just how moving THE NOWHERE GIRL was. I was literally in tears during the final chapters wondering how it was all going to play out. It was heartbreaking and yet it was also heartwarming. As I reached the final page, I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at the satisfying end.
I have seen some say the story was predictable. Yes, this is true. In fact, I predicted much of it from early on but that didn't spoil it for me. I was intrigued by what the journey would deliver as I uncovered more to the secrets that were as yet unknown. I wanted to see how it would pan out, and what would become of Alice, Molly and Margaret. And discover who was taunting Alice with a message from her past. While some of it is predictable, there are others that aren't. And for me, the entire journey was a moving and powerful one that I could not drag myself from for one minute.
I have only read one other Nicole Trope and I was enamoured by that one as well. The fact that she is a fellow Australian depicting suburbs and areas known to me make her books and even more attractive prospect that I find I have to read. And I am glad I discovered her. She is fast becoming one of my favourite go-to authors and I look forward to what she has in store for us next!
Not a thriller as such, more a domestic drama with elements of mystery, THE NOWHERE GIRL is powerful, captivating, heartbreaking and heartwarming. I definitely recommend it!
I would like to thank #NicoleTrope, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheNowhereGirl in exchange for an honest review.
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