Never Ever Tell by Kirsty Ferguson
Genre: Domestic thriller, Domestic drama, Noir
Read: 14th January 2021
Published: 18th June 2020
★★★★ 4 stars
DESCRIPTION:
She’d do anything for her boy…
Vanessa Sawyer knows all about pain. She’s felt it every day since marrying the boy who fathered her baby in high school. All he’s meant are broken bones, broken heart and broken dreams. But he also brought her the love of her life. When her son Wren was born, her baby boy was her salvation.
Vanessa watches Wren grow and become a young man she can be proud of. Until one night everything changes, including Wren. One night that her son refuses to speak of. Now Vanessa can’t rest, not until she uncovers the secret that her son has been hiding from her.
Will she find the answers she’s searching for or will her quest for the truth take her to a dark place where all hope is lost?
One evil act. One tragedy. Lives destroyed forever.
MY REVIEW:
TRIGGER WARNING: Extreme domestic violence, abuse, rape, bullying and suicide.
Whoa! This book is nothing like I expected. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't that. It's a difficult book to read on many levels though it does peter out before another brutal event that leaves you breathless. NEVER EVER TELL is an intense read that begins as a domestic drama before becoming something of a thriller with several twists and heart pounding scenes. It is definitely NOT for the fainthearted with many triggers included. I am still reeling long after finishing the final page.
The story begins with Vanessa Sawyer recapping the past eight years of her life leading up to the present day through the first couple of chapters. She has been dealt pretty much a crappy blow thanks to a rumble in the back of a van when she was 18 which landed her married to Mark. He who had been her best friend's boyfriend, put her in a cab home and rejoined the high school dance and sought Vanessa out. Leading her to his van with tender kisses and promises that they would be together, she succumbed to his charms in moment of teenage passion. Promising to tell Maggie about them the following day, he bid her goodnight. But he had no intention of telling Maggie. He just wanted a quick fumble and to get his leg over because Maggie wouldn't until they were married.
Then six months later, Vanessa discovered she was pregnant. She told Mark who denied it was his but since she had only ever slept with him there could be no other candidate. They then told Maggie together, who understandably threw a mega hissy fit, and then they told their parents...who thought it best they marry. On what should be a girl's happiest day, Mark couldn't even look at the heavily pregnant Vanessa. What then ensued were years of abuse at his hands, blaming her for ruining her life. She went into labour while he was hitting and kicking her, telling her she couldn't do anything right. And when her son was born and she held him in her arms, everything else went away. She named him Wren, which Mark scoffed at being a stupid name, and he was the light of her life. Wren was her reason for living, for going on even when Mark's abuse was at its worst. She vowed to protect him at all costs. But little did she know her little boy would grow up protecting her also. He becomes her salvation.
After what she did to Maggie, the town turned against her and she lost all her friends until she had only Mark, who abused her daily, and her parents who lived a couple of streets away. But through it all, she still has Wren. Even when she has no one else...she still has Wren.
The one day, shortly after the birth of her second son Ty, downtrodden and a shadow of the girl she used to be, she bumps into Billy Wright who sees past the facade she keeps in place, past the bruises on her face, past the lies she tells...and sees a young vulnerable woman with a child and a baby who needs his help. And with Billy's help, Vanessa packs their bags and embarks on a new journey. One in which her children will grow up safe and loved.
Years pass and Wren is now at a community college for his final year of high school with his two best friends, Justin and Wade. And then Wren meets Olivia. Beautiful sweet Olivia, whose father is their new principal, and the two instantly feel a connection. They begin dating and, although she cannot stand his two best friends, she and Wren become inseparable. She describes them as "soul mates".
Then one day, Vanessa's beautiful honest and loving boy Wren comes home a different person. Something happened that he is keeping from her that haunts him so terribly. But what? And then...everything changes. Vanessa's life is thrown into an upheaval like she has never known and with every fibre of her being while there is still breath in her body, she becomes obsessed with uncovering the truth...neglecting everything and everyone else. But is she ready for the truth...if and when she finds it?
I have to say, from beginning to end NEVER EVER TELL is a brutal and harrowing read for the most part. It is dark and confrontational yet compelling. It is the stuff of nightmares. And if you are a sensitive reader or are triggered by extreme abuse and rape, then I advise giving this one a miss. It is very triggering and it is very confrontational. And many parts are difficult to read. Extremely difficult.
NEVER EVER TELL is divided into two parts - Part One and Part Two. The narrative in the first part is dedicated to Vanessa's backstory, which is completely harrowing to say the least. But it is central to the story that is to come in the second part and the devastating events that transpire. I cannot say much more than that...but boy, what an intense read! And simply breathtaking.
And WOW! I did not see that twist at the end coming at all! It was even more brutal than what we, the reader, had already bore witness to. It was a clever twist but I'm not sure I liked it...I'm still in two minds about it. But it definitely threw me, that's for sure. Even knowing what I do now I still don't think I could have anticipated such an ending.
This is my first read by Kirsty Ferguson and now that I've discovered her, it won't be my last. She is Aussie born and bred and I do like to support our home grown authors. However...I feel I must comment on the one thing that sticks in my craw. One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to Australian or British authors is the use of American English. In Australia we use UK English and I loathe to see everything Americanised in what is an Australian author's book. Although the setting could be anywhere as it is not specified as being in Australia, America or even Antartica. I did think it had an American feel to it despite being written by an Aussie author, which in my opinion should be set in Australia (half the reason I read home grown authors). And while I don't like American English in Aussie or British written books, I can tolerate it but my biggest beef is with the use of the term "mom" throughout. I loathe it. In Australia we use "mum" and that is what I expected to read. So I was disappointed to have an Australian author's book Amercianised when I expected it to be...well, Australian.
That is really my only criticism with the book because it was very cleverly written and Vanessa particularly was incredibly well developed. I could see everything through her eyes and feel everything as she would feel it. I admit to growing somewhat frustrated with her in her obsessive campaign for the truth, as she shut the rest of her family out and was in danger of losing them completely. But when she came back to earth, she fell back with hell of a thud. She was grounded immediately.
NEVER EVER TELL is a raw and highly emotive tale that is both harrowing and heartbreaking to read. Written completely in the third person, the first part is solely from Vanessa's perspective, while the second part is through Olivia's Wren's and Vanessa's eyes.
A dark, compelling and addictive read, NEVER EVER TELL is a domestic drama and thriller rolled into one. It is haunting read that will stay with me for a while to come.
I would like to thank #KirstyFerguson, #NetGalley and #BoldwoodBooks for an ARC of #NeverEverTell in exchange for an honest review.
MEET THE AUTHOR:
Kirsty grew up in a rural town, on a farm and likes to base her stories in isolated places, physically, mentally and emotionally. She has long been a lover of reading and writing, beginning her professional career in 2015. She can be found with a good book in hand, her to be read list never growing any smaller no matter how hard she tries.
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