The Life She Left Behind by Nicole Trope
Genre: Domestic thriller, Domestic drama, Family Drama, Contemporary fiction
Read: 18th April 2021
Published: 1st July 2020
★★★★★ 5 stars
DESCRIPTION:
When I wake up in the middle of the night, it’s not a sound that disturbs me. It’s a feeling. Silently, I creep to my daughter’s room, breathing a sigh of relief when I see her sleeping, her night-light twirling, butterfly shapes moving their pink wings. Quickly, I lock the door. I won’t let anything happen to my little girl.
You tell him everything. The husband you adore, the father of your child, your best friend.
He knows, just by looking at your sage-green eyes, when something is wrong. The two of you can communicate with a glance, or a touch of the hand.
Except what if you can’t?
What if your happy marriage has plastered over one huge lie? A lie you have even started to believe yourself, in order to survive?
What if you have a secret, something you have hidden from your beloved husband and your strawberry-scented baby girl, to keep them safe? What if the guilt has kept you up, night after night, for as long as you can remember?
Because, after twenty-eight years, that secret is refusing to stay buried. The past you have tried so desperately to outrun is catching up with you. A faded photograph, torn in half, threatens to expose the truth and everyone you love, everything you cherish, is in harm’s way…
An emotional, thought-provoking and beautifully written novel which examines the pieces of ourselves we are afraid of, and the impossible decisions we make when we are desperate. Fans of Jodi Picoult, Kerry Fisher and Liane Moriarty will be moved by this heartbreaking tale.
MY REVIEW:
What an emotional read this is! It pulled at my heartstrings, it brought tears to my eyes...it was just breathtaking. Nicole Trope is easily one of my favourite authors as her ability to capture every emotion, every thought, every heartbeat, every moment and transport you to the very heart of the story is phenomenal and just keeps me coming back.
Having said that, THE LIFE SHE LEFT BEHIND is not an easy book to read due to the intense and chilling content. Containing themes of mental, emotional and physical abuse and domestic violence, the story that unfolds is a tragic tale of long-held secrets, shame, fear, guilt and anger that is painfully realistic. Some of the abuse scenes are graphic in nature that feel very real due to Nicole's ability to capture a moment in time with as few words as possible, placing the images in our minds that appear all too real. Our imaginations do the rest. I won't lie...the abuse scenes are harrowing, particularly if you have endured something similar, but the story is incredibly moving and as heartwarming as it is heartbreaking.
Rachel is enjoying a life well deserved with her loving husband Ben and their their beautiful seven year old daughter Beth in a beautiful new house they have recently purchased in a new and up-and-coming estate. But she hasn't always had the perfect life. In fact, she has such a troubled past that not even her husband knows about it. Why? Because Rachel and her mother, Veronica, made a promise to each other to never tell.
But now twenty eight years later it seems Rachel's past is coming back to haunt her. The secret she has kept for so long refuses to stay buried and she wonders how much longer she can keep her secret from resurfacing.
What should be a happy and exciting time in their new house is soon shattered when someone breaks in one night whilst Rachel is alone with Beth. She locks herself in her daughter's room as she hears footsteps pad up the stairs and sees the doorknob turning as someone attempts to gain entry into their hiding place. She calls Ben in a panic and then the police. But whoever had been in the house is long gone...if they were ever there at all. And then Rachel finds a troll doll standing in the centre of the landing...and she knows without a doubt that her past has come back to haunt her. He's found them at last and has come to inflict his revenge.
Frightened for her family and scared for herself, Rachel cannot tell Ben her fears because he knows nothing about her past. The only one she can confide in is the one person who lived through it as well - her mother. Only she can't...because her mother is in a palliative care hospice with end stage cancer and is barely conscious. And even if she was, Rachel couldn't want to worry her mum. So now she is faced with a quandary - should she reveal her past to Ben? And if she does, what will he think of her? Will she lose him once the truth comes out? After all, she has lied to him their whole married life and how can one get over that?
Whatever she does, Rachel knows she cannot keep this secret for much longer. Her past has come back and now the man they have run from for twenty eight years has been leaving little reminders of her past to let her know he is there...waiting...watching...that he can strike at any time when she least expects it. She has a family to protect. A little girl of her own...who is now the same age as she was when she and her mother left their old life behind.
Rachel's life hasn't always been perfect. It hasn't always known love...or tenderness...or care... It only knew rules, cruelty, abuse, violence, mind games and fear. Her father was a man she loved and hated. He could give with one hand and take with the other...either that or he would hit, kick or punch to get his message across. He wanted the perfect house, the perfect wife and the perfect family. Appearances were everything. And control was his weapon...as were his fists. Rachel was just seven years old and she loved her daddy but she hated how he made her mummy hurt. She could hear the thump thump thump coming from their bedroom after she has gone to bed. And in the morning she could see the purple flowers on her mummy's face that made her cry. The slightest thing would make her daddy lash out. An orange that had fallen from the fruit bowl. A frame or ornament out of place. A film of dust on top of the fridge or shelf. A forgotten toy on the floor instead of put away neatly. Everything had to be sparkling clean. Rachel, her mother and the house. Everything clean and fresh with dinner ready by the time daddy walked through the door at 6pm every night.
Except her brother Kevin. He either stays at his friends so he doesn't have to come home or locks himself in his room. He doesn't want to be on the receiving end of daddy's anger anymore than he is. Rachel hates him. He's just like daddy. He's almost as big as daddy but he is just as scared of him as she is. But when daddy isn't around, Kevin is just like him. And then one night Rachel wakes to hear the thump thump thump noise again and makes a decision. At seven years old she is determine to protect her mummy, and so they pack a bag each and leave their life behind, once and for all.
Now, twenty eight years later, it seems that old life has caught up with her. She knows her father will make them pay for leaving him but she doesn't know how to fight him, despite the fact he would be an old man at sixty five now and she is sure who would be a formidable force still. But how can she fight him while her mother is dying? How can she face her past? How can she face him? She isn't even sure she has the strength to. But if that's not bad enough, her perfect life with Ben appears to be also falling apart at the seams. How can she possibly get through with not only losing her mother but losing her marriage also? On top of having to face the monster from her past?
And then just when Rachel thinks that things couldn't possibly be any worse, the unthinkable happens...and her world comes crashing down. Will Rachel come out of this unscathed? Will her family? And will Ben forgive her for not telling him the truth? But most of all, will Rachel make peace with her past once and for all?
Oh. My. God. You will not finish this book without having a box of tissues handy. It will pull on your heartstrings and have you weeping buckets for Rachel - for the child she was and the adult she now is - and her mother. And even her brother Kevin. The abuse they endured at their father's hands is just unfathomable and heartbreaking. But what also tugs at your heart is the glimpse into what made him into the man he became. Children are born innocent. Monsters are made. Violence begets violence.
THE LIFE SHE LEFT BEHIND is one of Nicole's most heartbreaking reads. And yet it is so powerful it will leave you breathless. The story moves between past and present evenly through various perspectives - Rachel, Ben, Little Bird (seven year old Rachel) and an unknown narrator. And yet Rachel's narrative has the feel of an unreliable narrator as she flits between the fear of her past to the reality of her present while trying to balance them with the impending death of her beloved mother.
Nicole combines thriller with contemporary fiction with this dark and harrowing story that instills a fear and throwing very few clues as to the identity of who is leaving behind the gifts that sends chills right through Rachel's core. It is cleverly crafted as the story weaves between the past and present easily despite the difficult subject matter. Nicole takes the reader through a range of emotions along with each perspective - from heartbreak to fear to anger to pain as well a love and happiness - as the story gradually unfolds, revealing a surprising twist turning everything on its head.
THE LIFE SHE LEFT BEHIND is both heartbreaking and heartwarming with it's chilling tale of a secret buried so deep in the hope it would never resurface. The story is harrowing from the abuse to the extent the fear it generated in Rachel from childhood and into adulthood.
Emotional and compelling from beginning to end, THE LIFE SHE LEFT BEHIND is an emotionally charged story that will break your heart. And yet it delivers at the end with its heartwarming conclusion.
I love Nicole Trope and always look forward to her books, knowing that she will draw me in and take me through a range of emotions and deliver a spectacular ending. I have no hesitation in recommending any of her books...though this one I do so with the warning of the sensitive and brutal subject matter.
I would like to thank #NicoleTrope, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheLifeSheLeftBehind in exchange for an honest review.
MEET THE AUTHOR:
Nicole Trope went to university to study Law but realised the error of her ways when she did very badly on her first law essay because-as her professor pointed out- ‘It’s not meant to be a story.’ She studied teaching instead and used her holidays to work on her writing career and complete a Masters’ degree in Children’s Literature. After the birth of her first child she stayed home full time to write and raise children, renovate houses and build a business with her husband.
The idea for her first published novel, The Boy under the Table, was so scary that it took a year for her to find the courage to write the emotional story.
She is now published by Bookouture and is an Amazon top 100 bestseller in the USA, UK, AUS and CAN.
She lives in Sydney with her husband and three children.
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