The Girl She Was Before by Jess Kitching
Genre: Psychological thriller, Suspense
Read: 25th October 2021
Published: 31st October 2021
★★★★ 4.5 stars
DESCRIPTION:
A crime thriller with a brilliant twist you won’t see coming!!
Powerful, packed full of gruelling details that will linger with you long after the book has finished.
Nat lives a picture-perfect life, but it wasn’t always this way. A victim of horrific bullying when she was a teenager, Nat will do anything to keep distance between the girl she was before and the woman she is now.
But when her best friend is murdered and people begin to point their finger at her, Nat’s new life quickly begins to unravel.
To Nat, it’s no surprise that the crime happened at the same time as the return of her biggest tormentor, Chrissy Summers. A woman with a violent streak who destroyed lives when she was younger and isn’t afraid to do it again.
Face to face with the past she so firmly keeps behind her, Nat’s sanity wavers as her determination to reveal Chrissy as the monster she knows her as rises to dangerous heights.
The question is, can Nat prove Chrissy is a killer, or will Chrissy get to Nat and her family before she has the chance?
You can't outrun the past...
MY REVIEW:
What an absolutely brilliant debut! I loved almost everything about it - the fast pace, the suspense, the twists, the second guessing. I was completely absorbed in the story from the very beginning and read it in almost one sitting. The chapters were relatively short and snappy - just the way I like them - and the alternating between THEN and NOW added another dimension to the story that left us wondering who was doing what and why. Everything was perfectly executed...and then we came to the conclusion. All the tension, all the build up, it was so palpable you could feel it even taste it...and then the shock Epilogue gave us that unexpected ending. I was like...what did I just read?
Nat lives a perfect life in Coral Bay with her loving husband Lucas and baby daughter Esme. She has a beautiful home and is an online social media influencer with an image she presents to the world as being perfect but behind her smile are the hidden scars from the emotional torment she suffered at the hands of horrific bullying as a teenager. She left Coral Bay as soon as she possibly could but returned some years later, almost unrecognisable as the girl she'd once been.
Leaving all that hurt behind her, Nat returned to Coral Bay and found herself befriending the very people who bullied her at school...and they become best friends. All of them, except for one. Chrissy Summers - the worst of them all. So imagine her surprise when out running one morning she happens across the not so trim but still stylishly beautiful Chrissy in active wear a tad too tight. At first Chrissy doesn't recognise her, but then it dawns and the evil glint returns behind that smirk she knew so well. With a few well placed taunts, Chrissy leaves Nat standing speechless with the realisation the woman hasn't changed at all.
But Nat is the only one to see that. Because as soon as the others know Chrissy is back in town they all flock to her side as if they had never left. And Nat is left on the outer once again while Chrissy muscles her way back in. Of course, everyone is blind to what Chrissy is doing except Nat. But when she tries to confide in Lucas about it he dismisses her concerns as ludicrous, naturally siding with Chrissy.
Despite having turned her life around from the self-conscious 15 year old she used to be, self-doubt creeps in and invades every aspect of her life. She becomes irrational, often appearing delusional, wondering if she is good enough wife, mother and friend as the painful memories she worked so hard at pushing down return with a vengeance. Even her career as an influencer is being affected as she begins to lose followers when an anonymous account pops up, bad-mouthing her and outing her as a fake.
And in the midst of her life falling apart, her best friend is killed with another in a coma and soon it becomes clear (to her) that someone is picking them off one by one. But how does she fit in? While her friends were bullies, Nat never was. She was one of their victims. Then suddenly she remembers Chrissy. Why has she come back to town now? She left under a cloud years ago so why is she back? Has she some unfinished business with those who ditched her in her hour of need? And is she setting her biggest adversary up to take the fall for her deeds?
But no matter how many times Nat says it, no matter how loud she yells it - no one listens to her. She has lost all credibility - who will believe her now? And those noises she hears in the night...she is sure someone is out there, but are they really? No one else can see or hear them. And she's the only one drawing attention to herself...
But she is sure someone is setting her up, even if no one else believes her. Can Nat get to the truth before it's too late? Or is she really as crazy as everyone says?
Moving between the past and the present seamlessly, THE GIRL SHE WAS BEFORE is a well-written tale of the effects that bullying can have on those who suffered it later in life. It's not just a case of "they were just kids". Unless one has been on the receiving end of such cruel torment, one cannot really understand the lasting effects it really has someone. It destroys a person's self-esteem, their self-worth and confidence. While I never suffered the extreme torments as the girl in the THEN chapters describes, it was still traumatic at the time and yes, I believe it has a lasting influence on the person you become. The THEN chapters were incredibly difficult to read at times as you wonder how people could be so cruel...but teenagers can. And girls are the worst.
Horrified at the relentless bullying, I was pulled into the plot instantly as I cheered the poor girl on in the hope she would eventually overcome the bullies. The question constantly at the forefront of my mind as to her identity. At first I thought it was Nat as she is the main character in the present chapters, but then I started to think about other possibilities. Whoever she was, I knew she was coming with a vengeance. And so I put my thinking cap on and began my process of elimination as to the possible suspects. I narrowed it down until finally I was left with my obvious choice...maybe not yours...but it made perfect sense to me, even if I had yet to work out why.
THE GIRL SHE WAS BEFORE is filled with twists and suspense for one action-packed thrill ride that hoodwinks you at the last possible moment. I really thought the outcome would be different and I admit to being slightly disappointed at the ending we were given. Still it was a major twist that is unexpected that is sure to delight many readers to steer us away from any predictability. Maybe something a little more unsettling to end on would have been a little more satisfying despite my preference for a different outcome altogether. Either way, it's a shocking twist.
THE GIRL SHE WAS BEFORE is such an addictive read that swept me away in its cleverly conceived plot that is sometimes more than a little disturbing. I cannot believe that this is a debut, it is that good. I can't wait to see what Jess Kitching comes up with next!
Perfect for fans of twisted psychological and disturbing domestic thrillers.
I would like to thank #JessKitching, #KingsleyPublishers and #RachelsRandomResources for an ARC of #TheGirlSheWasBefore in exchange for an honest review.
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