My Mother's Choice by Ali Mercer
Genre: Women's fiction, Contemporary fiction, Family drama
Read: 5th January 2022
Published: 29th July 2020
★★★★ 4 stars
DESCRIPTION:
Nobody talks about my mother. Absolutely nobody. I have no idea what she was like. I’d always thought they kept quiet about her because they were sad. But what if it was because they were guilty?
I watch them at the school gates, all the mothers with their daughters. I see the hugs and all those thoughtful little adjustments to scarves and ponytails. How their love seems to overflow, they have so much of it to give.
And then I walk home to my aunt’s cold house, where there are a hundred rules for me to follow and only a single photograph of my mother to look at.
She is never spoken about in this house. They tell me that it will be easier if I don’t think about her.
It is strange though, isn’t it? That I know nothing about my own mother?
But they don’t know about the diary I’ve found up in the loft. Maybe they even forgot it was there. It doesn’t matter anymore if they won’t tell me anything. Because within these pages is what I’ve waited fourteen years to find out. And maybe some things I wish I could forget.
All I wanted was to bring our family closer together, but could what I find tear us apart instead?
A heartbreaking and powerful novel about family secrets and how we live with decisions we never thought we would have to make. Perfect for fans of Jodi Picoult, Kate Hewitt and Amanda Prowse.
MY REVIEW:
As soon as I read the premise for MY MOTHER'S CHOICE, I was immediately intrigued. Anything that involves a secret diary elicits an expectation of some big reveals that will either shock or pull at the heartstrings. And even better, it is written in a dual timeline format (my favourite kind) with the secrets of the past unfolding through the said diary, whilst the present struggles to make sense of the past.
Dani is 14 and lives with her Aunt Carrie, her mother's sister, in the house in which the sisters grew up in the town of Kettlebridge. She sees her father every once in a while but more often than not, he's just someone who turns up sometimes with a gift or a few words of chastisement, usually at her aunt's beckoning.
But this is not a normal family. They are not demonstrative, emotive even remotely likeable. They just barely function. And Dani prefers to spend her time alone in her room building a fictional city with fictional people in SIMS. Most of the time her aunt generally doesn't know what to do with her. And that suits Dani just fine.
But no one talks about her mother. Not ever. All she was told was that she died when Dani was four years old.
Dani is not stupid. She knows there are things her aunt and her father aren't telling her. And now she is older she has questions. Why is her father so distant? Why is her aunt so aloof, cold even? And why does no one ever talk about her mother?
All Dani has of her mother is a photo of the two of them taken shortly before she died. She looked so happy and carefree as they traipsed through a canopy of cherry blossoms with an exuberant four year old Dani clasping her hand. her mother looks back over her shoulder with a shadow of a smile while only the back of Dani is visible. What was she happy about that day? What made her look back and smile at the photographer, presumably her dad? Particularly when the child in the photo was so intent on her destination? Or maybe it was the adventure she was wrapped up in?
Why is this the only photo she has of her mother? Surely, if she was as loved by both her dad and her aunt there are bound to be more photos? But not one exists on display in her aunt's home and there are definitely none in her father's cottage either. It's like they had both wiped away her memory, leaving only one photo for Dani. Why?
So when Dani begins voicing her thoughts to her friend Josie, her friend plants the seed that grows into an idea that maybe there is something of her mother hidden away. And the only place it could be is in the loft where aunt Carrie stores the things she doesn't want to think about. So with Josie's help, Dani climbs into the loft and searches for something...anything...that could shed any light on the mystery that is her mother. She comes across a notebook in an unfamiliar hand in an all but empty trunk and a quick peruse reveals it to be her mother's.
Armed with her mother's diary, Dani embarks on a journey into the past that she begins to read in the cover of darkness and learns a secret no one ever wanted her to know. Can she trust her aunt and her father again?
A story of a young girl trying to come to terms with her mother's death and this long hidden secret, it's no surprise that it all ended up in a tragedy that no one could have foreseen. Least of all Dani. But her search for answers lead her to a shocking truth she wasn't expecting. And suddenly, Dani doesn't know how she can ever trust or forgive her aunt or father again.
One confession...that's all it took to change the course of Dani's life. And then it's the secrecy that came with it; the fact nobody told you; kept it hidden; made you believe something else entirely.
A story about love, betrayal, secrets, regrets and forgiveness, MY MOTHER'S CHOICE is an emotional read but it didn't have me reaching for the tissues, despite the heartbreak. I think because Dani was such a capable and independent character for her age I sometimes felt I couldn't connect with her. Her aunt and father were even less relatable, given their distance and aloofness. And her mother, Laura, almost seemed like something surreal. A mysterious presence just out of reach (not in a paranormal way); more like an ideal rather than a memory or a reality.
I did enjoy this book but I didn't love it. I felt there was something missing that it too felt a little out of reach. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's there even if it's not. My least favourite part of the book was the ending. I felt like all that effort and for what? The hospital scene I expected something a little more left of field rather than what actually happened. It felt as if a connection had been missed that should have been made which would have made it more heartfelt and me possibly reaching for the tissues. As it were, it didn't. But I still enjoyed it...just not as much as I could have maybe.
Still a good read for fans of women's contemporary fiction that weave emotional tales such as Kerry Fisher and Amanda Prowse.
I would like to thank #AliMercer, #Netgalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #MyMothersChoice in exchange for an honest review.
MEET THE AUTHOR:
Ali is fascinated by families, their myths and secrets, and the forces that hold them together, split them up and (sometimes) bring them back together again. She always travels with tissues and a book and has been known to cry over a good story, but is also a big fan of the hopeful ending.
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