The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker
Genre: Psychological thriller, Psychological drama
Read: 29th March 2022
Published: 17th February 2022
★ 1 star
DESCRIPTION:
'So that was all it took,' I thought. 'That was all it took for me to feel like I had all the power in the world. One morning, one moment, one yellow-haired boy. It wasn't so much after all.'
Chrissie knows how to steal sweets from the shop without getting caught, the best hiding place for hide-and-seek, the perfect wall for handstands.
Now she has a new secret. It gives her a fizzing, sherbet feeling in her belly. She doesn't get to feel power like this at home, where food is scarce and attention scarcer.
Fifteen years later, Julia is trying to mother her five-year-old daughter, Molly. She is always worried - about affording food and school shoes, about what the other mothers think of her. Most of all she worries that the social services are about to take Molly away.
That's when the phone calls begin, which Julia is too afraid to answer, because it's clear the caller knows the truth about what happened all those years ago.
And it's time to face the truth: is forgiveness and redemption ever possible for someone who has killed?
MY REVIEW:
This is one of those books where I wondered what on earth possessed me to request it. The premise sounded somewhat intriguing but not really enough to entice me so I've no idea why I requested it. I read a few reviews before diving into the story of Chrissie (then) and Julia (now) and most were promising so I thought I might be pleasantly surprised. I was not.
The premise talked of eight year old Chrissie having murdered a boy in her neighbourhood. Even at that tender age, the feeling of power it gave her, the warm fuzzy feeling like soda pop in her belly made her feel powerful. She had a secret; one that no one knew about. Even when all the mammies and daddies were huddling around poor dead Steven in his mammy's arms. If he were not already dead, then he would have surely suffocated by the flabby breasts of his mother. But he's dead. And Chrissie killed him.
Fifteen years later, Chrissie is an adult living and hiding under a new name. Now Julia, she is a single mother to five year old Molly and all she wants is for her daughter to have all the things and the childhood that she had been denied. But now Julia's past is catching up to her. Someone knows her secret and she begins getting calls that taunt her. Someone knows the truth about what happened all those years ago. And now Julia risks losing the one thing that means more to her than anything - Molly.
The concept behind this story reminds me of the child killers of little Jamie Bulger who was only about 2 or 3 when he was killed by two boys only a few years older. Those boys served their time and were given new identities upon their release. But this story takes the reader on a dark and thought-provoking journey with one such child who took the life of another child. And it's not always what it seems. And it makes one question the judgements one is usually quick to make about child killers. Should they get a new identity and a new life? And what provokes them to murder in the first place? One thing is for sure, nothing is ever as it seems.
Chrissie's story may be a sad and heartbreaking one, disturbing even. But I couldn't connect to either her or her adult self as Julia. Both of them were just so disconnected it was hard to not just relate, but to even be drawn into her story. Don't get me wrong, it was cleverly written and thought-provoking but it was so uninteresting that I just wasn't all that bothered with what happened to Julia in the end. She may have loved Molly but it certainly didn't seem that way on the pages. Of course that stems from her disturbing childhood where she only wanted love but never received it. Naturally that made it difficult for her to relate to her own child. Julia and Molly were just so disconnected from each other that I just couldn't watch. I'm not overly maternal but Julia seemed even less so. It was painful.
In the end, I couldn't finish this book. I could barely begin it. The pace was so slow it was almost as dead as Steven with a narrative that felt very disjointed. Although I didn't enjoy it, plenty of others have. It was indeed a brave topic for a debut but it wasn't for me.
I would like to thank #NancyTucker, #Netgalley, #PenguinBooks for an ARC of #TheFirstDayOfSpring in exchange for an honest review.
MEET THE AUTHOR:
Nancy recently graduated from Oxford University with a degree in Experimental Psychology. Since then she has worked in an inpatient psychiatric unit for children and adolescents and in adult mental health services. She now works as an assistant psychologist in an adult eating disorders service. 'The First Day of Spring' is her first work of fiction.
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