Jack Knife, The Crashing of a Policeman by Paul Horner
Genre: Biography, True stories
Read: 21st December 2022
Amazon (out of print)
Published: 23rd December 2011
Published: 23rd December 2011
★★★★★ 5 stars
DESCRIPTION:
Jack Knife is the story of Paul Horner’s journey as a fully operational police officer working at some for the busiest and hardest police stations within the State of New South Wales (NSW) in which I had the privilege of being both an apprentice and a leader.
Paul discusses his career from beginning to end and the failing of the system which he trusted and believed in as a result of the lessons learned and instilled whilst at the police academy.
Jack Knife is about trust. It is about loyalty. It is about mateship. It is about courage and determination. It is about trusting others with your life and others trusting you with theirs.
Jack Knife not only discusses integrity and human rights, but raises questions relating to ‘normal standards’ within our society, and debates them from a logistical aspect and environment in which I was subjected to.
Jack Knife contains a range of operational police stories varying between saving peoples lives through to almost losing his own and an array of stories in between. His story gives the reader an insight into his life as a policeman and his demise thereafter. He discusses issues that he has personally lived through and been apart of, and in many cases most people have only seen on television.
Ultimately Jack Knife has been written to educate, not only serving police officers and their families, but the general public. This book is the TRUTH as to what really goes on behind the front line of the policing world. Paul has written this book with the intention of assisting those that have been diagnosed with PTSD. In addition he wishes to put positive pressure on every Police Force within Australia to change their ways so that the engine room of the force is looked after the way in which they deserve to be looked after and treated with respect, just as the management expect our police to treat members of the public.
After all police are human too and deserve to be treated like human beings as opposed to the robots we are publicly, at times, made out to be by police management and the media.
Jack Knife is an all inspiring book about, not only the NSW Police Force, but a policeman with two arms, two legs and a heartbeat. In other words a regular human being just doing his best to serve his State the only way he knew how.
MY THOUGHTS:
Where do I start to review such a book? I cannot say "story" because it is so much more than that. It's one of endurance, of suffering in silence, of trauma, of self discovery and self worth; it's a journey to hell and back through the mire and coming out the other side, a little bedraggled and a little worse for wear but alive. JACK KNIFE is filled with adrenaline-pumping action from the front line and the toll it took. Why? Because of the failure to ensure their officers were at all times safe, both physically and mentally, and to provide adequate support when needed. It's a story that needs to be told so that no one else has to go through what ex-Senior Constable Paul Horner had to.
JACK KNIFE opens with the promise of dreams as Paul recounted his lifelong dream to be a police officer, despite his ineligibility at the time due to not attaining his Higher School Certificate (HSC) which was a requirement to enter the police academy. He did, however, go on to do other jobs - some he enjoyed, others he hated. But it was his employment as a prison officer with the NSW Corrective Services that gave him the adequate experience to enter the police academy and therefore pursue his lifelong dream of becoming that police officer.
Paul recounts his time in the academy and through its various phases, some of which was surprising given the level of dedication that was ultimately required by all serving officers upon graduation and, after a probationary period, becoming a constable of police. He recounts throughout the "police family" of which he was told about who would "have his back" and that he was now part of a bigger family. This gave him the confidence to go out into the big wide world and undertake his duties as a serving police officer, with his first posting at Mt Druitt Police station. Anyone from this part of western Sydney will be familiar with the stigma around Mt Druitt and its suburbs, therefore making this police station one of the busiest...particularly in western Sydney. I'm guessing it was an eye opener but at the same time it was nothing compared with what was to come.
After serving three years at Mt Druitt, Paul and his fiance (also a serving police officer) moved to Bourke in the NSW Central West and pretty much the middle of nowhere for the three year tenure. I doubt I could last three days, let alone three years there! If I thought Mt Druitt was an eye opener, what did that make Bourke? I can't begin to outline what he endured out there but I'm guessing it was like a council estate (in the outback no less) on steroids. The violence, the disrespect, the crime, the hate and did I mention the violence? It goes without saying that criminals generally have little respect for police and that only just scratches the surface here. The hate within the community (some of which were segregated) is so ingrain, so deep for those they see as "intruders", and particularly towards police, that the level of violence that they face on a daily...or rather a nightly basis...is nothing if not short of mind-blowing. I had heard vague stories alluded to but having it depicted first hand just left me speechless. And it is no wonder Paul found himself in the position down the track that he did. I found myself wishing him out of Bourke myself and couldn't wait till he finished his three years and moved on to greener pastures on the north coast in beautiful Byron Bay. But by then, the damage had already been done.
And so the story unravels through the most common means of all - alcohol. And Paul begins the biggest fight of his life...for his life and his career, but most of all, for himself.
JACK KNIFE tells a no holds barred story of one man's dream that became a reality and turned into a nightmare. And when he needed the support from management (top brass), there was none. Where was this so-called family? Nowhere to be found. The same people who demanded results by any means turned their backs on him when he suffered as a result of delivering them what they wanted. It's all about arse-covering and looking out for oneself. There is no brotherhood, no family to be found there. And no support network in a place where it is needed most for those who have to see and deal with situations none of us couldn't even ever dream of.
I recall the fact that police officers who took their own lives (as a direct result of the work they undertook as serving officers) were forbidden to be included on the police Wall of Remembrance. I was outraged on their behalf. Only those who died in the line of duty were listed there. But what is putting your service pistol into your mouth and blowing your head off because you can't erase those images, those smells, those horrors from being imprinted on your brain? So instead you choose to blow them all over the wall? What is that (albeit indirectly) if not in the line of duty? If they had never witnessed those atrocities and scenes, they would never have needed to pull the trigger? So why could they not be included on the Wall of Remembrance too? They damn well deserve it!
Thankfully Paul did not take his life, despite coming close to it. Instead he has drawn on his experiences to help educate others and in the process try and make a change to the system that just doesn't care about anyone but themselves. Paul's journey is horrendous and heartbreaking and I found myself in tears many a time...and by the end I could hardly see for the mistiness in my eyes. What makes this story all the more heartfelt is I know Paul. Or rather, I knew him. I was at the same school as him and he was one of my brother's best friends. I remember him as a little guy who used to goof around with my brother. I can hardly articulate him as the same guy who experienced these atrocities - both in the line of duty and by the service that swears to protect others but funnily enough, not each other.
His story follows his journey through PTSD as a result of doing the job he so loved doing. It's a tough job and it's a hard job, and it's not for everyone. And after reading this, I'm so glad I never followed my own (passing) childish dreams of becoming a police officer...because it is one in which I know I would never have survived. Not after reading this. My view of the NSW Police was dimmed after reading Gary Jubelin's eye opening "I Catch Killers" and the appalling treatment he received by the so-called police family when they threw him under the bus after thirty years of loyal service. I can safely say my view is even more dimmed now. I have always respected police and the job they did, the crap that is thrown at them on a daily basis. But it is so hard to respect a service that fails to protect or look after it's own when they really need it. They all turn out in droves to pay tribute and farewell those who gave their lives in the line of duty but where are they when those same officers turn to them for help or support?
The defence forces are filled with people who are given accolades for their service to their country and so much support is thrown at them for those that return suffering PTSD as a result. Yet there is no such support for a service that is in place to protect the public and everyone in our own country! Why not? Police officers are subjected to horrific sights just as the defence forces are and their experiences should not be minimised in any way just because we do not live in a war zone. Although I would think Bourke sometimes resembled a war zone by the behaviour, violence and hate directed towards police there.
At the time of publication, there wasn't the support that was so needed by Paul and some of his colleagues who needed it. There may well be something in place now but as to what extent, I've no idea. Given how quickly they shafted Gary Jubelin just a few years ago, I'd say not a lot has changed in management.
I found JACK KNIFE to be an enlightening, if not harrowing, read at times and my heart went out to Paul reading all that he experienced and the loneliness he felt throughout those times. It is such a shame that this book is now out of print and I had to hunt around for a copy before finally finding one on eBay. If you can get your hands on this book, whether on eBay or browsing a secondhand bookshop, I urge you to grab it and read it. You won't be sorry.
Thank you Paul, for letting us into your world and witnessing your journey from that idealistic young boy to the disillusioned man before becoming the positive influence your experience has made you today.
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