How to Play Dead by Jacqueline Ward
Genre: Psychological thriller
Read: 1st December 2019
Purchase: Amazon
(publication date: 7th November 2019)
★★★★ 3.5 to 4 stars
This was a difficult book for me to read in some ways, having been a survivor of domestic abuse, and I found myself overwhelmed with a range of emotions from tear-filled sadness to complete rage. Although my own experience was not like Sheila's or even Tanya's, it was just as horrendous and frightening at the time. So in reading this book, it brought up all the old memories and there were times I questioned whether I could finish it or not.
TRIGGER WARNING
So it goes without saying that this book comes with a trigger warning of domestic violence, psychological abuse, stalking and sexual assault. If you don't think you can cope with it, then I advise to give this one a miss. Having been through domestic abuse myself, I did find it tough going at times.
HOW TO PLAY DEAD is a hard hitting story of abuse in its many forms. It is not an easy read but it is compelling. It's the story of Ria, but more than that, it is also the story of Tanya who we meet in the alternate diary chapters. Both women have their own stories to tell but neither of them could foresee how their parallel tales will meet in the end.
Ria Taylor is married with two children but she also runs SafeMe, a shelter for domestic abuse survivors and their families. She has dedicated her life to helping these women through SafeMe which is in desperate need of council funding to continue its specialist care. I love how the shelter is more than just a shelter - it helps rehome the women and their children to safer communities and provides one on one care with them. This type of service wasn't available to me at the time...just a shelter where I felt completely alone.
SafeMe also provides counselling to the aggressors, which was called perpetrator counselling although I was uncomfortable with the use of the term "perpetrator" in such a service. It is meant to be a non-judgmental service offering help to the men who abuse their wives, partners and children. Calling them perpetrators vilifies this and while they are indeed "perps" I think it could have been named something a little more helpful and appropriate. Even "Offenders Counselling" or "Taking Responsibility Counselling" would have been far more appropriate. The stigma created by labelling them really doesn't provide the proper service, even if it was just for funding purposes.
While there are men who truly believe they are above the law and that it is their right to keep their wives in line with their fists or manipulation, there are also those who simply have no proper outlet for their anger than to lash out at their partners - which is no excuse, I know. But to offer them a service that will enable them to channel that anger in other ways or learn how to take responsibility for their actions is far more helpful than simply discarding them as just "perps". And I have been on the receiving end of those fists, of those threats of harm and death - I know all too well what it is like as a victim/survivor. But I also believe that everyone deserves a second chance.
Ria and her best friend Janice work tirelessly to keep the women and children in the shelter and its adjoining flats safe. But not everyone wants SafeMe to remain open. Council funding is approaching and one person is intent on seeing it fail...just so he could rescue them and pull the strings, and give him access to his own wife. But Ria will not let that happen.
Whilst juggling the responsibilities of SafeMe, her worries for the women who are most at risk as well as the upcoming renewal of funding application, Ria must also contend with her husband Danny working on an international contract for a month. He is what keeps her grounded and waking every day without him there is a painful reminder that he is thousands of miles away. But soon after Danny's departure, Ria begins to receive sinister messages...videos of her, even one of her hair being clipped on the bus. Working in the environment that she does, Ria also knows there is nothing the police can do unless her stalker resorts to violence. She doesn't even know who it is...her only suspicions are one of the husbands of the women housed at SafeMe. But soon, not a day goes by where Ria doesn't feel she is constantly being watched, always on the lookout for someone or something out of place. Paranoia begins to take over that even her loved ones notice a change.
In the alternating chapters, we meet Tanya (of indeterminate age) who lives with her husband Alan in a big spacious house that he inherited from his parents. In the beginning, we see her excuse his behaviour and moods as a reaction to something she has done. But as the days count down over the month, we see her resolve change. She loves him and yet she hates him. He restricts her every movement, her every choice so that everything she does is completely for his benefit...and yet he still criticises it all. She is never given anything sharp unless he is in attendance and she has no access to television. She is permitted to work, but her wages are paid into his bank account (as she doesn't have one, he excuses) so she has no access to any money. When he leaves the house, she is locked in with the shutters made of reinforced steel closed over the windows to prevent her escaping. She is completely dependent on him for everything and knows nothing else but the information he feeds her...and that he had fed her over the years.
Alan is a completely despicable character. He made my skin crawl. And to think he has kept Tanya prisoner in his home through rape, violence, manipulation and invisible walls just made my blood boil. Then when he left Tanya locked in the house for nearly a week with barely enough food to survive, it was obvious he was just waiting for her to die of starvation. In the end, that's what Tanya believed too as she wrote her last entry to be found with her...
Counting down from Day 29 to the return of her husband Danny from Dubai, Ria's life is thrown into turmoil when it becomes apparent that her stalker will not give up. From roses to messages to the feeling of someone watching her...Ria worries for her safety and that of her children's. She has Danny's sister Donelle pick them up from school every day...until Donelle meets a new man. But Ria was too wrapped up in her own worries and the pending funding application to hear the alarm bells going off around Donelle's new man. Added to all this, are Ria's estranged parents and the mystery back home resurfaces of when Ria's best friend Alice disappeared when they were 15.
I do have to question Ria's actions, reactions and often stupidity when it came to the text messages she received. I found it to be completely frustrating particularly for someone with so much direct knowledge of these types of men and what they are capable of...and yet she still didn't continue to lodge it with the police. Even one point she was about to go in, but read the latest message and turned around and left. I was left shaking my head. Why, woman, why? And why did she not just throw the phone away, I wondered. And the knowledge of telling as many people as you can so they know the situation in case something happens...why was she just so vague in it all, dismissing the texts as nothing? For someone who works with these women, she knows what to do as she tells the women often enough. So the hell didn't she take her own advice?
I found Ria to be completely frustrating and not entirely likable at times. Her story didn't excite me, but rather frustrated me more than anything. The story around the women was far more gripping, as was Ria's past. The writing style around Ria was at times somewhat confusing. I found her and her mother to often be talking in riddles. What the hell were they talking about? Did I miss something? It was incredibly frustrating and I felt like slapping Ria on more than one occasion.
I think Tanya's diary was the most effective part of the story...even if the most painful. Through her every entry throughout, the reader wonders if Tanya can escape before it's too late. After all, no one knows she is locked inside a house that appears empty with its shutters in place. And Ria...can she keep herself and her family safe from the person who is stalking her? And can she save Donelle from a potentially abusive situation?
As Ria starts to unlock the truth and Tanya's world comes crashing down, HOW TO PLAY DEAD will shock you and chill you as their stories collide leading up to a somewhat confusing ending...which I felt could have panned out a little better. It felt somewhat rushed with the absence of the main perpetrators in each case. With no big reveal it just sort of flowed into revelation long before the end.
HOW TO PLAY DEAD is an uncomfortable read in parts, with a no holds barred approach. It highlights the growing problem of domestic abuse and how even in the most unsuspecting circumstances it can be rampant. Domestic abuse does not discriminate. It can affect anyone at any time and any place. Sadly no one is immune. Even the strongest of people can fall victim to a charming yet controlling and manipulative partner which by then is too late. It's easy for an outside to ask "why doesn't she just leave?" but until you have been in that situation, until you have been conditioned to know no other way...no one can understand why she doesn't "just leave". For it truly is never as easy as that.
A book that really makes you think, HOW TO PLAY DEAD is a different perspective on the whole domestic abuse theme. It is cleverly plotted and well crafted, though it doesn't always hit the mark at times, it is certainly worth a read.
I would like to thank #JacquelineWard, #NetGalley and #AtlanticBooks for an ARC of #HowToPlayDead in exchange for an honest review.
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