I Choose You by Gayle Curtis
Genre: Psychological thriller
Read: 29th February 2020
Purchase: Amazon
(publication date: 1st January 2020)
★ 1.5 stars
Firstly, I think it is important to note before starting this book that suicide features heavily in this story. It is talked about, it is acted out and it is a game purported by an unknown subject manipulating their victims - or participants, as they are referred to - into playing. As a difficult issue for some I felt it important to make it known that it is a common thread throughout the entire story.
So, ready?
Thirty years ago, Elise and Nathaniel shared a horrific trauma in which their mothers both committed suicide...the possible victims of the Suicide Watcher. This united them in grief when they meet up again in a support group run by Magda King, whose brother succumbed to suicide. A recipe for disaster, right? Well, these two were obviously blind to that fact and ended up married with three children of their own - Ida, Miles and Buddy. (honestly where does the author come up with these names? Ida for a 15 year old girl??) Elise has recently had baby Buddy (whose name sounds more like a dog than a child), and had some kind of post natal psychosis going on where she didn't feel that Buddy was hers. Aside from that, they finally believe that their nightmares are over...until Ida is murdered. (don't believe the premise in the abduction theory...never happened)
Fast forward a couple of years later...and baby Buddy is now 20 months old. But Elise is a raving lunatic. She is now in full-on psycho mode accusing a doctor she worked with and his wife of swapping their babies when they were both born at the same time in the same hospital. She has gone so far that they have taken out a restraining order against her and threatening legal action. But Elise is adamant. Their baby - Louis - is really her child, and Buddy is their's. What makes her think that? Her baby had an unusual birth mark on his right leg which she saw immediately after he was born...but later when they brought him to her in the hospital it was gone. The doctor's wife's face said it all...Louis has that very birthmark.
So amidst accusations, threats, police involvement and whatnot, Nathaniel assures Elise that Buddy IS their's as the DNA results proved it. But Elise would not be swayed.
And that seems a plausible enough storyline, right? Wrong!
Then there are the intermittent philosophical ramblings of a headcase peppered throughout the entire story, picking off their victims like going through a shopping list. Only with a far more metaphysical take in the theoretical sense of the entire nonsensical waffle! Did that make any sense? No? Well, neither do these chapters.
The story goes back and forth between the past and the present - titled THEN and NOW. That should be easy enough to follow in theory...I repeat IN THEORY. But the problem was there was one story in the THEN, another in the NOW and then the philosophical theoretical nonsense thrown in between! I have to admit I found it terribly difficult to remember in which timeline which story went where and what related to who when. It didn't make it any easier that Elise and Nathaniel featured in both, which simply added to the confusion.
Then we get confession after confession regarding Ida's death...which incidentally took place in the THEN chapters. And after all that, it was then theorised that Ida took her own life as the latest victim (participant) of the Suicide Watcher...or maybe it was the mother's brother's uncle twice removed? Then when the identity of Ida's killer is revealed it would have been a clever touch, if not for the whole convoluted mess in between, but it really just fell as flat as the rest of the story.
And by the end, I'm thinking...WTF? This person kills that person after they had killed another person and then kills themselves?
Honestly...I CHOOSE YOU could be broken down into three categories:
The GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY.
The only good thing this book had going for it was the whole Suicide Watcher theme. It was original and intriguing. "You have sixty seconds to choose - to shoot yourself or to be shot?"
Then we have the characters, none of which were likable in any way, shape or form. I wanted to shoot all of them, they irritated me that much. And there was so much happening in this book I simply could not keep up. Nor could I distinguish between the past and present as it all just jumbled together with a load of random people that had no development or substance.
Which then brings us to the worst part of this book - the UGLY. O.M.G!! The horribly choppy writing that was just such a convoluted mess. That by the end I was just so confused by all the unanswered questions and plot holes that were left unresolved. I just didn't get the whole point of whose baby was really Elise's and the random nutter that was a friend but also a patient but also a client...where did that one come from and what the hell did it mean? It was never followed up and just left blowing in the breeze like most of the storyline.
When I started this book, I went in with my eyes open to enjoy it...and I tried. I really did. And when it started it did show promise. I thought for sure I would give it at least 3 stars. But what the hell happened after that? In all honesty, I kept reading hoping all loose ends would be tied up by the end and I'd find out who the Suicide Watcher was and who killed Ida. I guessed who the Watcher was but not Ida's killer...but then I think they were running out of suspects after all the confessions.
There was way too much happening in this book and way too many random people that just didn't need to be there. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't like this book...and despite the almost clever way it ended, I just didn't much care anymore by then.
I would give it 2 stars just because I finished it, but even then 2 stars is leaning towards the notion that I thought it was "OK". Which I didn't. So it's a sorry 1 from me.
I have her next book already. I just hope it is vast improvement on this one.
I would like to thank #GayleCurtis, #NetGalley and #AmazonPublishingUK for an ARC of #IChooseYou in exchange for an honest review.
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